Favourite(s)!

January 31, 2023 Krupa Shah

“Maybe then, ‘favourite’ is also the acceptance of possibility, of hope, of a future. A future we can look forward to!”

At a particular Diwali get-together last year, my cousin kept prodding our 4-year-old nephew with a question – “Who is your favourite? Me or Krupa Masi?”

If history was anything to rely upon, my adorable nephew has always picked ‘my cousin’ as his favourite throughout his four-year-long existence on this planet.

However, that day he looked at us with absolute certainty and pointed his fingers at me, saying, “Krupa Masi!”

Haa!

Somehow, something that evening had worked in my favour. And I was now ‘his favourite’. Oh, boy did my cousin sulk that night and I on the other hand gloated for the rest of the evening.

I felt so cherished to be my nephew’s ‘favourite’.

What is a favourite?

Who is a favourite?

Have you ever wondered if you are somebody’s favourite?

Recently, I played a variation of the game – This or That - at a social dinner where the two hosts asked me to choose between two (difficult) options. These two options could be funny, mundane, or totally outrageous and most times they would be absolutely problematic. But I always had to choose one. That was the frustrating rule.

That evening I had to choose between close friends, friends from different social circles, friends and nephews, nephews and nieces, chai and friends, monsoon and chai, and on and on. You get the gist.

It was incredulous but fun nonetheless.

Post that evening I kept wondering about my choices, and why I chose what I chose. These choices I knew would also keep changing depending on who was asking these questions. It was a bizarre exercise in picking favourites. But that’s the thing about favourites - they need context.

I recently came across a word, an Igbo (Nigerian language) word – ‘nkali’. It is a noun that loosely translated to ‘to be greater than another’. It made me realise that the concept of ‘favourite’ too is defined by the principle of nkali.

Something or someone is a ‘favourite’ only when compared to something or someone else. Yet, what does it mean to be a ‘favourite’?

‘Favourite’ is a word that evokes a sense of warmth and comfort, of something that is treasured and cherished. It is a word that elevates something or someone to be special. And over time, these favourites begin to define us, the things that make us who we are.

But they are not certain and absolute.

There is comfort in knowing that ‘favourites’ are like seasons, they keep changing. So, to never take our ‘favourites’ or being a ‘favourite’ too seriously. Enjoy it while it lasts. These are timely occurrences that have to be enjoyed in the present, in that context.

So here’s a current (random) list of my ‘Favourites’:

The morning chai that my mother brews.
The New Year's Eve of 2018, which was spent huddled up in sub-zero temperatures under thick duvets, lying flat in the Rann of Kutch, surrounded by the comforting silence on a full moon night alongside one of the loveliest souls I know.
My niece’s tender hugs! They are akin to hot chocolate on cold nights.
My Nani!
The Pilot V7 Hi-Techpoint 0.7 Gel Pen Hibiscus!
People who say, “Text me when you get home!”
UNO Nights with my cousins
Coffee Walnut Ice-cream
Monsoon! Specifically the Mumbai Monsoon
The outdoor dining area of our Airbnb in Agra
Sending and receiving letters as emails
This quote by Rainer Maria Rilke
"Let everything happen to you Beauty and terror Just keep going No feeling is final”
Lists! Writing and reading random lists :P

These are all ‘favourites’ from the past or of the fleeting present. Rarely do we think of all the things that will become our ‘favourites’ in the future.

What about the song that I am yet to stumble upon which will dethrone my current favourite song? What about the new recipe that I am yet to discover that I will become obsessed with? What about all the people I am yet to cross paths with who will hold a dear place in my heart? What about all the sunsets, coffees, books, places, paintings, and experiences, I am yet to stumble upon?

Maybe then, ‘favourite’ is also the acceptance of possibility, of hope, of a future. A future we can look forward to!

So, I’d encourage you to make a list of 'favourites' for yourself too and if you’d be comfortable, share the same with me, I’d love to know.

That’s all for this one.

As always a song recommendation – Lie Again by Giveon. What a stunning voice! He could recite his grocery list and I’d raptly hear that too.

And last of all, enjoy a few favourites from my gallery!