Nothing & Everything!

“How many times have you wanted to do nothing?”

The past month I have juggled between two extreme urges - to do nothing and to do everything, all at once.

I often think about a conversation I had with a friend during the second COVID lockdown. On a particular video call, while discussing our shared frustrations in life, he asked me,“What is your dream job, Krupa?”

I can still clearly recall my reply. Without skipping a heartbeat, I replied as a matter of fact, “To do nothing! That is my dream job. To be paid to do nothing. Nothing!”

How many times have you wanted to do nothing?

Discuss your passion or supposed inclination towards doing nothing with someone who is always doing something and they will make you believe that you are committing a sin. They hold the act of doing nothing as the greatest of sins and an absolute disgraceful waste of time. Because in the society, we live in - nobody is allowed to do nothing, not even for a single afternoon.

You must always do something.

I, on the other hand, have been dreaming of warm cosy afternoons that are delightfully lazy, spent lying on my back under the foliage of an old, wise tree - doing nothing.

Afternoons that offer no immediate excitement, no drama. The subtle movements of overhead passing clouds and the rustling of leaves are just sufficient to keep my mind engaged. Being surrounded by nature that is indifferent to me and my many concerns about being a human, would be so humbling.

Afternoon after afternoon I’d love to do nothing. Of course, to say that I’d do absolutely nothing would be untrue. I’d love to read a book, eat delicious food, drink nice beverages, and snooze for an hour or more. Probably be as close to doing nothing as is possible for a human in this society.

The ability to do nothing, to enjoy the vacancy of an immaculate brain seems a God-like task under the current circumstances.

Because we are so busy doing something. All day, every day, every passing minute. Our minds humming, bustling, planning, contriving, arguing, creating, disputing, discussing, negotiating, thinking - always something.

When I am on this end of the spectrum - I want to do everything. A constant, incessant, overwhelming obsession to do something, every passing minute I am awake. Always To-Do-ing something from the To-Do List. Always doing something and realising there is more to do. The more I criticize how much-fragmented information I consume in a day through social media platforms, the more I realise how much of everything I do is fragmented too. The number of projects that I pursue simultaneously, the number of books that I read simultaneously, and the Netflix shows that I watch simultaneously, are all somehow halfway completed.

I mean, I am constantly doing, thinking about everything: Am I on the right track? Should I be focusing more on my personal life or on my career? Is freedom a blessing or a curse? Should I just become an influencer? Do I know how to become an influencer? Do butterflies sneeze? Am I a bad person? Am I not doing enough? Should I do this? How do I build that? Should I invest in Bitcoin? What is ceramide? On and on. You get the gist.

I am certain this is normal, such chaos in our minds is normal. But so is the urge to do nothing. I wish I could embrace doing nothing as guiltlessly and as much a part of a normal life as I embrace - doing everything.

Have you ever been delightfully lazy?

Imagine doing nothing. To be delighted and proud of our ability to do nothing and to enjoy it. Beneath its apparent monotony that offers no immediate excitement, no absorbing drama, doing nothing seems rebellious.

There is nothing glamorous about doing nothing and it isn’t even about indulging yourself with solo coffee dates, extended naps, skin pampering or hot showers. It is more so about just being.

Monsoons remind me how easy it is to do nothing. The ability to simply stare at the downpour without the urge to be elsewhere is what I realise might mean to do nothing. I wish I enjoyed doing nothing guiltlessly. I wish I embraced it fully, unapologetically.

Oh! to be busy though. What an addictive feeling that is. Except, I’ve just never been enthralled by it in the ways that some folks usually are.

I am on the contrary grateful for lovely books and movies and works of art, that are quietly powerful in their being and in their protagonists doing nothing.

These works always make me feel a little less nuts for being so enamoured with the act of doing nothing. To actively want to do nothing.

Through these small acts of doing nothing, I get a glimpse into what a simple life can look like. A somewhat radical life, in many ways.

Meanwhile, till I strike a balance between doing nothing and everything, let me enjoy this state of in-between - doing something. Where I do something that may mean nothing to someone else but mean everything to me.

Writing this newsletter is that something for me. Pursuing something for the sheer personal pleasure of it that isn’t based on external validation has been liberating and I’d highly recommend this to everyone.

Until the next time, till we enjoy doing nothing, happy doing something to all!

As always a song recommendation - Jah by Libianca. I absolutely love her voice and the afro beats always make me want to sway!

Before you go, enjoy some favourites from my gallery!

Until the next one send me your sky, flowers and happy (or not) pictures! You know where to find me!
Krupa 🌺