You do You, I do I

For the past few months, I have been learning how to build a brand (and what a rollercoaster it has been). The aspiration is to make SOAWN (Spring On A Winter’s Night) a lifestyle-decor brand; a place where gorgeous art and products comfort, inspire and spark joy within you.

Building the brand continues to be an unnerving journey and an extremely uncomfortable one, for someone who is complacent by nature, and who loves a comfortable, leisurely pace of life, It is challenging if anything.

Building a brand also requires me to learn the basics of business, branding, marketing, accounting, delegating and selling (you get the gist - these and many more such related things).

However, learning about these terms is similar to explaining the taste of cold water to someone, there’s no way to teach that other than letting yourself drink the cold water and experience it. So when it comes to running a business and building a brand, no matter how much I try to understand and read about it, real learning only seems to happen when I execute and experience it.

Historically, I have been someone who is known for following a textbook set of rules, staying right where I was told, and doing exactly as prescribed. What a restrictive way to live.

The transitionary phase of my mid-to-late twenties has helped me realise that on the contrary, I am someone who loves, doing things her way, someone who loves redefining what she should, could or would do! Because, if you follow all the rules and do exactly as you are told, you will never become your own person. You will never discover who you truly are - a cosmic mess if anything, but at least a unique one!

This journey of realisation has often been met with a fair amount of resistance. Primarily resistance from my past self that has been trained to be a compliant, agreeable, good girl persona.

This gets us to what I have been doing for the past few months - I have been trying to shake off this innate desire to be agreeable and be okay with rebelling and doing things as I like.

In other words, I am learning to say, “No matter what anyone says…., I will still…..”

What this means is that we must make a habit of thinking honestly, for ourselves, with our own experiences as a foundation. We must develop a kind of willpower that enables us to listen to our heart, and listen to what we truly feel.

It starts with listening to yourself, protecting your boundaries and learning when to say ‘no’ and sometimes to say ‘I don’t know’.

These days, I get a fair amount of advice on, “How to sell my product, how to market it, and how loudly to market it. How to price it, how much I should and shouldn’t aspire to grow, and more.”

And a lot of it is fair, well-meaning advice. It is genuine advice.

But, it simply isn’t the advice I seek. Instead, I want to know how to build a brand and run a business while being myself, and while enjoying the leisurely rhythms of life. It can be done, I am somehow certain, I am yet to discover how!

In the face of standard advice or set textbook rules, sometimes, it feels better to waste your time, to fail, to reject all feedback, to live inside your pure bubble and to do what feels right. A bubble where everything is wrong and right at the same time, where there are no repercussions except maybe being perceived as delusional.

What I mean is, that I am certain there are standard ways to do things, but more than anything else, there are times when you just want to do things your way. What feels good is deciding, stubbornly, that you’re going to proceed in a way that feels right to you.

The journey of building this brand also involves me interacting with humans of all kinds and making decisions, many, many, mini, and major decisions.

Some lovely people I have encountered along the way, felt calm and breezy, like warm sunshine on a bitter cold day. These people allow you to be a stubborn baby, they encourage having fun and enjoying yourself, they make you want to think for yourself and find your way. Being around these people I learned how to enjoy being myself and to avoid quitting just because I sucked. Learning how to suck at things without quitting is so important! Maybe it’s the most important thing. And for some of us, it takes a LOT to tolerate it. We need to be very very very kind to ourselves.

While some people on the other hand have felt like dark grey clouds on perfectly warm days. They tend to shove you around and impose their thoughts, expectations and ways of seeing the world on you. These are the ones who have in reality taught me how crucial it is to not conform to their 'advice' and how imminent it is to decide and do things for yourself!

You get to experiment your way into the life you want. You get to take your own strange, meandering path to passion. No one should convince you any other way.

I have realised that listening to my stubborn, rebellious - I will do it my way - self, has (eventually) helped me respect my advisors, listen to their feedback, know which ones are right for me, navigate criticism and understand how to balance a whole world of opinions against the precious, passionate, crazy self within.

The way forward for me is that I’m not trying to make sure I’m acceptable to other people right now; more like I’m trying to have more fun, get into better learning mindsets, surround myself with kind, rebellious people, exchange more interesting ideas and build this brand ground up into something that I would truly cherish.

On that note, I would encourage you to professionally and personally, look out for and surround yourself with people who make you feel like you are floating on your back in some warm, gentle sea on a beautiful day. People who encourage you to do you!

This letter was inspired by a dear friend of mine, who taught me how easy it is to stand your ground, to assert your boundaries even at the risk of being disliked. I discovered how freeing it is to voice myself, think for myself and listen to myself, even if others may not agree to it.

To know and accept that you’re not everyone’s cup of tea and neither is everyone yours has been the most relieving discovery of my twenties.

Hope we all allow ourselves to think and discover for ourselves, because -

“the thing that you feel most deeply from the bottom of your heart, will never deceive you in the slightest”

Until next time, you do you, I do I ;)

As always a recommendation - I discovered this (hilariously named) Sad Boi Anthems playlist on Spotify and there are some lovely indie songs there. Love. Save it and enjoy.

Before you go, enjoy some favourites from my gallery!

Until the next one send me your sky, flowers and happy (or not) pictures!
Krupa 🌺